Thursday, November 23, 2006

When communications break down in your relationship

Have you ever looked at your spouse or romantic partner and wondered why the person who’s so close to you, can also FAIL TO UNDERSTAND YOU so completely? Why he didn’t hang up the washing even though you TOLD HIM twice? Why she can never stick to the shopping list and why she always has to switch on the radio the minute she walks into the room?

There are times in every relationship when communication channels seem clogged up. Nothing you say penetrates. Your good intentions get misinterpreted. You hate the way he or she hangs up the toilet paper roll and you are beginning to wonder what on earth you saw in each other in the first place.

That’s when it’s time to stop, take a deep breath and learn to talk to your partner all over again in three easy steps. It’s easier than you think, because you have a magic tool to help you along the way....

Step 1:
Take out a piece of paper and write down one thing that you used to like about your partner when you first became an item.... Was that easy? I hope so! Because now you will write one thing that you like about your partner AT PRESENT. It could be his blue eyes, or his honesty, or the fact that she brought you a cup of coffee yesterday.

Step 2:
Here is when you bring out the magic tool I mentioned earlier. Learn something new about your partner by checking out his or her Working Style. The Working Style Analysis is available on and it is a treasure chest of information about your partner’s communication style, stress resolution and problem solving approach.

Step 3:
Do your own Working Style Analysis and check how compatible you are and what areas need attention. Do you handle stress the same way? Is one of you a morning lark and the other a night owl? Does she communicate by talking while you have trouble listening? Is he a systematic person who insists that the dishwasher be loaded in a specific way (his way) even though it’s you who’s doing the loading? Find out all that and more on or by clicking directly on

That’s all you have to do. By drawing strength from your similarities and recognising your differences, you will be able to bridge that communication gap. You might learn to write to-do lists instead of reciting them verbally, or you might come to understand the other person’s need for clicking their knuckles.

Most important of all, you will discover something new and important about your partner. And you might also learn about yourself along the way.

No comments: